The Next Best Thing

One of my best friends sent me this this morning because “this is really good and you should listen”.

And she was right. It’s really good… and you all should listen, tbh.

Seriously, click it…

I listened to it this morning and paused what felt like the chaos I was dealing with (1st world problems, of course, but chaos to me nonetheless).

It brought me so much peace and happiness in the minutes I listened and it made me realize how lucky I am to have such amazing friends who bring me up and never let me fall into a whirlwind of complaining and negativity.

You think it’s funny, but I bet if you think back to the last conversation you had today, you probably complained the whole time but because it’s become so normal for you – you don’t think it’s a problem.

I’m right, aren’t I?

It’s so easy to spend all of your time just talking shit, venting, gossiping, comparing, wanting, hating, wishing. We spend most of our precious time having boring, surface level convos about the same old shit, honing in on things that literally DO NOT MATTER and do not bring happiness into our lives, but rather distract us from it. We are constantly discussing our imaginary plan to do x, y and z and how MAGICALLY, then, we will be happy. We may spend hours a day scrolling through the internet looking for the next best material item that can definitely make us so happy once we have it!

Newsflash: it doesn’t. It temporarily numbs the sting and distracts us from our [perceived] unhappiness. The excitement wears off in days… weeks… months… and we are back at it. The media constantly victimizes us and we don’t even realize it.

You will have the best skin if you buy this serum. You will have the best body if you buy this plan or this supplement. You will have the best hair if you buy this product or these extensions…. and the list goes on.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that happiness is a thing and a destination… we constantly yearn for the next best… iPhone, Mac Book, makeup kit, car, you name it… we are unconsciously waiting for it.

We’re waiting to be happy… instead of just being fucking happy.

We have no time for the gym or for our friends yet somehow, we have hours to spend scrolling through Instagram and YouTube. We don’t even consciously realize we are putting all of our energy into this shit and that it does absolutely nothing for us. And we wonder why we feel the way we feel.

It doesn’t help when you are surrounded by people who make this their norm and their reality. Who are so blinded and consumed by the shit that DOES NOT MATTER. Who prioritize appearing to have it all together when they’re drowning inside for the sake of some envy and likes… over actually doing something to spark joy within themselves. Who constantly talk about small minded things like other people. Who’s inner dialogue is constantly self-deflating.

So you start to notice you’re becoming that way, too. The positive energy you try so hard to exert every day gets replaced by the same negative energy you allow yourself to be surrounded by.

I’ve really taken a step back the last couple of months to ask myself what I want in my life. Who I want to be surrounded by. Who and what I want to spend my energy on.

My mom thinks that sometimes I “act” tough… that’s not it. It is simply that I have enough confidence in who I am and how I feel to know better. You don’t have to respect someone because they’re “blood” if they’ve never made an effort to earn your respect or even reciprocate it. You don’t have to pretend to like everyone because it looks good. You don’t have to keep the peace if that means disrupting the peace inside of you. You don’t have to meet anybody where they are, especially if you see caution tape. You’ll find your tribe on the road you’re on.

I’m over half ass things, half ass people, and half ass conversations. It took me 27 years to realize I don’t owe anybody anything. But I do owe the world to the people who keep filling up my cup every day.

And let me tell you something else before you try to convince yourself that you have REAL REASONS TO COMPLAIN EVERY DAY: EVERYONE is struggling. EVERYONE has shit going on. We all have things to complain about. Give yourself your 2 minute pity party and then leave it there and move on. If we all put our problems in one big pile, you would probably try to take yours back. That’s the reality of it. Sorry not sorry. It’s draining. It is exhausting. ALL FOR WHAT? Nothing.

I will tell you what is so important…

It’s having GOOD ASS people in your life who do simple yet positive things every single day, like sharing this video with you. It’s having people who make you LAUGH. It’s having people who bring out the best in you, not the madness. It’s having people you VIBE with. It’s having friends who share your vision. Having friends who remind you of who you are rather than make you question it. It’s having people who are there for you, who support and love you, who make time and effort to be in your life.

Happiness is not a destination. You have a choice every single day to be happy, most of us would just rather wallow in our sorrows. Most of us would rather take the easy road and lay in bed and blame society for our circumstances… when it’s really not that much harder to get up and get your ass in the gym because a 20 minute workout will get you closer to your goal than no workout. Work on your blog instead of watching Netflix for 5 hours (Guilty😂)… cook a fresh meal instead of heating up that frozen pizza again (ummm I plead the 5th).

All of these little things add up…. you can either make the most of this life that will be gone before we know it… or you can waste your days wishing and hoping for the next best thing.